Today I didn’t get dressed until after three pm.
I changed into yoga pants. I win.
I consumed over six cups of coffee.
And pretty much stayed in bed.
WIN WIN WIN WIN.
I was supposed to work on three different essays.
Instead I watched Lost.
Which is kinda funny. I used to mock Lost fanatics, back when it was big.
And now here I am, a loner in my white walled bedroom, binging alone like the coward I am.
I miss reading. I should have read today.
I’m reveling in Lit lately, so why didn’t I read?
Right. I’m too tired too read. All I do is read (study). I needed a break.
(Please disregard the fact that I’ve been off spring break for only a week.)
Sometimes my brain just wants to do nothing.
I also miss writing. More than anyone can understand.
So why didn’t I write today? Why did I lie in bed like an invalid watching TV?
I sometimes think I hit my peak at thirteen.
At least when I was thirteen, and I REALLY was an invalid, I was productive.
Hell. I wrote and wrote and wrote and scorned the TV.
School is making me dumb and lazy.
All I want to do is sleep with my electric blanket thrown over me like a casket covering.
Yesterday I saw a rainbow. It was bright.
Taken from my bedroom window.
For the last week, Arcata’s tsunami sirens have gone off daily at noon for testing.
For the last week, my heart has frozen over for several beats, always at noon.
What do you know what do you what do you know.
It has rained over ten inches in March so far. It’s currently raining.
In fact, I don’t believe I’ve seen the sun since I flew out of Long Beach.
Slightly ironic considering my complaints the last time I did a fact post.
This isn’t really a fact post though. This is more of a day summary.
And I’m totally lacking the writing sparkle, I know.
I AM DRAINED OF EVERYTHING LOVELY.
The fact that there is sun on the forecast for tomorrow gives me anxiety.
I think there may be something wrong with me.
I should be writing essays right now.
Don’t worry, they’re not due for awhile.
I’m just slightly neurotic about getting shit done early.
I have a strong compulsion to splash red paint on these suffocating white walls I currently live within. But I don’t think that would fly too well with my landlord.
Oh well. 45 days from now, they will no longer be mine to call home. They will no longer be my cage.
God, Heather. Cut back on the dramatics. Why must I always be so negative?
I sometimes make myself sick. I sometimes wish I could have a break from the girl I am.
I HATE HATE HATE HATE WHITE WALLS.
I should add that I never stay in bed all day. I should add that I’ve been working my ass off (not literally my ass has actually been growing since I joined the student world but that’s another tangent for another night) this semester and have been conquering page-long to do lists day after day so this Sunday of slothfulness was SO SO SO sweet and deserved, I think.
Plus, I think I’m getting sick.
Shit. I’m abusing caps again.